A man steps on your foot on the London Underground. You say sorry. You did nothing wrong.
1English has one word that does almost everything: sorry. It apologises, of course. But it also asks people to repeat themselves, interrupts a meeting politely, expresses sympathy, and moves a stranger out of your way in a crowded shop.
2Only some of these uses are apologies. When you say Sorry? with a rising voice, you are asking what did you say. When you say Sorry, could I just get past?, you are not sorry at all — you are being polite about something completely normal. And when a friend loses their job, I am so sorry means I feel for you, not I caused this.
3This is why visitors sometimes think that British people apologise too much. Most of the time they are not apologising. They are using a small word to make a request softer, in the same way that could is softer than can, and would you mind is softer than both.
4The pattern is worth learning, because the opposite also works. A request without any softening — Give me the salt — is not rude in every language, but in English it sounds like an order. Could you pass the salt, please? costs three extra words and changes everything.
Sorry is not always an apology. Very often it is a door handle.
